"You're just pickin' on me 'cuz I'm black," Duane challenged me when I told him he needed to shut his mouth and get to work.
I stopped cold and gave him my best I-dare-you-to-try-that-one-again teacher glare. While I didn't doubt that he'd experienced his share of racism from his teachers, I also wasn't about to let him throw such a serious accusation at me in an attempt to get out of his work. He backed down and I saw to it that the rest of class started their assignment. Once they were focused, I wandered over to Duane and his group of friends.
Duane immediately turned his back on me, "You can't say nothin' I wanna hear."
So, I ignored Duane and continued on with his friends, "You know, that whole you're-a-racist-thing is a BIG DEAL to me. I know that racism happens at this school, and that you've probably seen more than your fair share of it."
They nodded in agreement, seeming slightly surprised that a white teacher would admit to racism in school. "If your buddy's right, then we have a serious problem," I told them, "but if he's just throwin' that word around so that he can be lazy, it's no better. In my mind, what Duane said is one of the most serious, offensive things possible, and if it's true, we need to deal with it straight up. Racism is still too deep of a problem these days and the last place I want it to happen is in my classroom!"
They were stone-silent - no arguing, no eye-rolling, no folded arms or turned backs (well, except for my buddy Duane who was still giving me the cold shoulder). Apparently, I had their attention, so I kept going, "You don't know who I love, where I've been, or what I know. You have no clue what I've seen or what I believe. Maybe you should give me a chance before you start throwin' all those labels all over me."
At this point, Duane tried to rejoin the conversation and interjected some "Geez, lady! You just don't get it" kind of comments, but his friends stopped him short, "Just listen to her, man. She might have somethin' good to say."
Duane stopped, and I gave him the recap of the speech I'd just delivered to his friends. He grunted, acknowledging that maybe he'd jumped the gun a bit and made some inaccurate assumptions. I breathed a sigh of relief that I'd broken through a piece of his wall. From that point on, Duane and his friends had my back. They didn't 180 and become straight A students, but they quit pushing back at me that day, and I sensed a different kind of respect had been established between us.
--
Over my years teaching, I've had countless interactions where race is a significant part of the dialog. When students sense I have an awareness, some experience, and an interest to be honest about the subject, they open up in remarkable ways. But that ability didn't come without significant work.
I've lost many nights of sleep grappling over concepts of ethnocentrism. I've shed tears over the privilege I carry as a white person. I've read about racial history and experience (though there's still so much left!) and listen to voices outside my comfort zone and personal experience. I'm married inter-racially and raise biracial children. I've made ignorant yet offensive racial statements, sometimes forgiven, sometimes not. I've lived, traveled and/or worked in places where I'm the only white person, and have spent heavy hours pondering the unequal kind of power my race carries in these contexts.
Sadly, in my years teaching, I've worked with many white teachers who have never had the opportunity or impetus to reflect on how their race impacts their relationship with their students. For a few, it's a result of arrogant blindness, but for most, it's simple ignorance and lack of exposure. I understand. I've been there myself. Here are a few things that have helped me as a white majority person immeasurably in the process:
As English language teachers, it is nearly impossible that we will teach students of our same ethnicity. Developing a deeper understanding of our own racial backgrounds and experiences will prove immeasurably valuable in how we relate to and support our students.
Duane immediately turned his back on me, "You can't say nothin' I wanna hear."
So, I ignored Duane and continued on with his friends, "You know, that whole you're-a-racist-thing is a BIG DEAL to me. I know that racism happens at this school, and that you've probably seen more than your fair share of it."
They nodded in agreement, seeming slightly surprised that a white teacher would admit to racism in school. "If your buddy's right, then we have a serious problem," I told them, "but if he's just throwin' that word around so that he can be lazy, it's no better. In my mind, what Duane said is one of the most serious, offensive things possible, and if it's true, we need to deal with it straight up. Racism is still too deep of a problem these days and the last place I want it to happen is in my classroom!"
They were stone-silent - no arguing, no eye-rolling, no folded arms or turned backs (well, except for my buddy Duane who was still giving me the cold shoulder). Apparently, I had their attention, so I kept going, "You don't know who I love, where I've been, or what I know. You have no clue what I've seen or what I believe. Maybe you should give me a chance before you start throwin' all those labels all over me."
At this point, Duane tried to rejoin the conversation and interjected some "Geez, lady! You just don't get it" kind of comments, but his friends stopped him short, "Just listen to her, man. She might have somethin' good to say."
Duane stopped, and I gave him the recap of the speech I'd just delivered to his friends. He grunted, acknowledging that maybe he'd jumped the gun a bit and made some inaccurate assumptions. I breathed a sigh of relief that I'd broken through a piece of his wall. From that point on, Duane and his friends had my back. They didn't 180 and become straight A students, but they quit pushing back at me that day, and I sensed a different kind of respect had been established between us.
--
Over my years teaching, I've had countless interactions where race is a significant part of the dialog. When students sense I have an awareness, some experience, and an interest to be honest about the subject, they open up in remarkable ways. But that ability didn't come without significant work.
I've lost many nights of sleep grappling over concepts of ethnocentrism. I've shed tears over the privilege I carry as a white person. I've read about racial history and experience (though there's still so much left!) and listen to voices outside my comfort zone and personal experience. I'm married inter-racially and raise biracial children. I've made ignorant yet offensive racial statements, sometimes forgiven, sometimes not. I've lived, traveled and/or worked in places where I'm the only white person, and have spent heavy hours pondering the unequal kind of power my race carries in these contexts.
Sadly, in my years teaching, I've worked with many white teachers who have never had the opportunity or impetus to reflect on how their race impacts their relationship with their students. For a few, it's a result of arrogant blindness, but for most, it's simple ignorance and lack of exposure. I understand. I've been there myself. Here are a few things that have helped me as a white majority person immeasurably in the process:
- Reading. See my Amazon Listmania list on Race and Education for specific resources on race and education. For a general understanding of race relations, I highly recommend Cornel West's book Race Matters, and Nelson Mandela's Long Walk to Freedom.
- Listening. I've been fortunate to participate in settings which encourage honest sharing about race, and in these settings, I've learned (or perhaps more accurately, am learning) to listen more than I speak.
- Speaking. When appropriate, it's just as important to speak into situations in which race needs to be considered and is instead ignored.
- Watching. While I'm not much of a movie-watcher, they are immeasurably helpful in providing an understanding of someone else's story and experience. I'm preferential to Skip Gates documentaries, but stories that portray the impact of race are also very powerful learning tools.
- Reflecting. Both workshop-type settings as well as personal relationships have provided safe places for me to process a deeper understanding of race. Sometimes this is more formal in the context of a conference or an MLK day celebration, and other times it is simply a chat with a friend.
As English language teachers, it is nearly impossible that we will teach students of our same ethnicity. Developing a deeper understanding of our own racial backgrounds and experiences will prove immeasurably valuable in how we relate to and support our students.
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